all she knows.

I clearly told myself i already have NO FEELINGS
for you at all now. And at that point of time, i was sure
of my statement. I was sure that was what i was feeling.
Why am i having doubts now? Nowadays, the thoughts
of you have been increasing. Social networks' fault? ):
I don't wanna fall for you all over again. Cos there's no
use in doing that. I just know it. You already have the
girl of your dreams. She's pretty, smart, talented, friendly.
I can NEVER be compared to her. She's probably
every guy's dream girl. At this point of time, some would
say, "i wish i'd appreciated every single moment i had
with him. But instead i took it for granted." Well, its soooo
long ago already. And i dare say that i DID appreciate
every moment we had. EVERY. Every single time you
pass by, my heart aches a bit. I was thinking, how nice it'd
be if you passed by to see me. Well, obviously i know
that it wasnt for me. Its for her. I'm happy for her you know?
A guy can love her so much for so long, without even
having to be with her as a couple.


On the other hand, YOU. Why are there more explanations
to come after my heartbreak? Why are there more doubts
that you're doing this for my own good? WHY? Can't it
be just what i assumed it was? That you just lost interest
in me and fell for someone else? Why do all the possible
reasons have to pop up just when im starting to get over it?
WHY? WHY? WHY? D: ah. when he said, maybe you
could get feedback from him on what you might have done.
People are sometimes afraid. Afraid of the truth. Cos the
truth is sometimes ugly. Sometimes i really hate honesty. It
sucks having to tell the truth. ): Haih. i really don't wanna know
what did i do. But at the same time i do wanna know. GOSH.
I'm so confused right now. im losing myself. I just gotta
pull myself together and go on with my life. Cos it's PMR
year. i CANNOT be thinking about all these.


 Life is never easy. Challenges will come eventually. But
they're not there to destroy you cos they're there to build
you into a stronger, more independant person. That part
was said to me by a friend. It was edited by me tho. My
friend. Young but knowledgeable. Zachary Lau. Thank
you for the quote. (:


Oh. And one more thing, i find that some guys are
really stupid. Dont they know that breaking up thinking
that it's for our own good is just the act of plain stupidity?
They think that maybe without them we can concentrate
more on our studies, no distraction right? WRONG.
The break up is a bigger distraction than being in love.
Maybe after the getting-over we'd be able to concentrate.
But all the doubts have already caused enough distruction.
STUPID GUYS. :/


Anyways, gotta go have my beauty bath now. If you're
wondering if i'm okay or not? thanks for caring, i'm fine.
For now. (: Unless one day you see me suddenly wanting
to go to the KL tower, you'd know that im not alright.
So... Goodbye! Till next post. (: